Saturday, June 30, 2012

Finding My Way

So a little while ago I wrote a post about how I felt lost and I was really hoping that Provo would help me find my way. Well can I say it has been the key to the lock! Ok I know cheesy!

I have been very blessed with my experience here. When I first decided to come to Provo I had no desire to be here. I was here, because I couldn't stand being in Rexburg. I needed to get out and give myself some "me" time. Well I decided to venture far and made my way to Provo. My plans consisted of not socializing, sewing, reading, cooking lots of food, and finding a job. Well when I got here that is what I tried to do, I was still super down. I guess I wasn't suppose to be doing any of that!

So I quit my job after working only once, became extremely social (which if you know me this is weird), stopped worrying, and decided to have fun. I have been blessed beyond measures and know that Provo has certainly helped me find my way for the time being. Another huge blessing I've been blessed with is the opportunity to serve. I came here for me, but in the process I learned that my "me" time was a lot better when I let people in my life. By allowing myself to open up to others and let them in and serving them, it has been much more rewarding to healing then just trying to do it all by myself.

For example I have an incredible roommate. She always needs help running errands, so I've been doing that with her a lot. At first I was like I don't want to waste my time, gas, and money. But then I knew that I couldn't say no. Yet I have been rewarded ten time over.  I don't even care about the resources I've used, because as a person I am growing and learning lots. This roommate has so many trials and could be so bitter, yet she always keeps smiling and living life to the fullest. She is able to laugh about her situation. For example she has a lot of medication, and every night she always likes to tell me that if I ever feel left out I am more then welcome to take her medication. I can experience how fun it is and enjoy the experience with her. She makes me laugh really hard. She also is also very short, and so if I ask her something she doesn't want to tell me she says if you were under 4 ft I'd tell you, but since you aren't I guess you'll never get to know.

There are so many others stories I could take up a whole day writing them down, yet I won't. I guess what I've really learned is God truly does care and even if we don't understand he does. He knows what is best for us, even if we don't see it. So often we get caught up with time, and we want what we want when we want it. Yet time for us and for God is different. We need to trust that in God's due time everything will work out. My new motto is At Some Point In Time! For now I am going to enjoy and have fun. I am working on not stressing over things that I don't have control over. I've always had a lot of anxiety problems, and I still do, but I am definitely getting better. Provo is certainly helping lots, thanks bunches for all the adventures!

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